A creative, restorative retreat

28 years later, I finally broke the cycle

I hope you’re enjoying this free newsletter! If and when you are able, I would be grateful if you would consider a paid subscription (which will give you access to additional exclusive content) or, if you prefer, a nod of support via Venmo (@DrChristineKoh).

---

As I was planning my leap into uncertainty, I had a radical, unprecedented (for me) idea: I wanted to break my 28-year cycle of not taking more than 5 days of vacation time in a row in service of a creative and restorative retreat with myself: 9 days away from home, 7 of those apart from my family.

I just returned home on Sunday. It was the longest I have been away from my family in about 11 years, when I traveled to Ethiopia for a project. I took the time to be quiet, work on some things, sink into the small delights, do some manual labor, catch up with a couple of friends on Zoom and a couple in person, and operate on my own schedule in a way I have never done before for an extended amount of time. Here are some reflections from my time away.

I have the very best crew. Even as I was hatching the idea for this retreat, I shot it down as impossible from a logistical standpoint. My husband Jon deserves all the props for saying, “We can make this happen,” and then formulating the plan to make it so in tandem with our kids. My crew has seen me at some serious lows this year, and I am grateful for the gifts of their blessings and logistical support to make this happen, and also to be on the other side of the lows.

Nature is healing. To be able to look up and stare at trees and sky whenever I wanted was pretty incredible. Thank you, trees and sky.

The body teaches patience and persistence. As I mentioned last week, I am still nursing a 5-week-old hamstring injury. I challenged myself to focus on stretching via Yoga With Adriene’s 45-minute deep stretch practice seven days straight—sometimes outside, which was amazing. Though there is a ways to go, by day four I was able to do something that has been impossible for the past five weeks: child’s pose with the toes together and knees wide. I still need to ease into it, but it was a hopeful sign, much like the first time I was able to do eagle arms after getting physical therapy for my shoulder impingement. It was a good reminder of how the body teaches us patience and persistence. I can’t rush healing; I just need to roll with it.

Chores are more fun when you’re not at home. I still needed to look after myself while I was away but wow, I didn’t mind vacuuming or washing throw pillow covers or making beds while I was away. I need to think about how I might be able to capture some of that delight while at home!

Manual labor suits my worker bee nature. Just as I used to thrive in tasks like restocking shelves and lifting cases of milk at my parent’s convenience store, my favorite form of cardio is manual labor. I moved a bunch of logs and stones last week and it was great (except for the bug bites).

My brain thrives on creativity. One of my goals in this new phase of life is staying rooted in projects that tap into my creative passions and superpowers. I was delighted that my brain still wanted to write, ideate about my podcast, design, and work on creative strategy in a different physical space. What a gift!

I wish I loved Netflix more. One very unusual thing was that I had time to look for things to watch on Netflix. I probably started five different “must see” shows and was like “MEH. NOPE.” I’m not going to cancel the subscription because Laurel and I are, with great delight, working our way through Grey’s Anatomy, but otherwise, it was like that old deflated feeling of browsing the shelves at Blockbuster. I did end up watching some Friends from College episodes but it was more for the cringe factor; I didn’t like any of the characters and didn’t mind giving up on the show.

Inflammation and stress. As I talked about in the episode My Simple Holistic Wellness Tracker I have been really mindful about potential inflammation triggers since April 12 of this year. And wow, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about the potential relationship between inflammation and stress. Because while I did have a not-great reaction to a package of regular ramen noodles I ate (gluten is no-go), I enjoyed champagne and wine one night with friends and my face didn’t explode in irritation. Fascinating!

It’s good to not manage all the things. Life continued to roll on without me at home and I really worked on not micromanaging from afar and it was GREAT. My crew really is the best.

Apologies are powerful. During a Zoom catch up with a friend, I was struck—in seeing this person’s sweet, loving face on screen—by the fact that my overall state of overwhelm and distress the past couple of years impacted some of my relationships in tough ways. In the moment, I shared this realization and apologized. I could feel the love and healing through the screen and it was so beautiful.

It was an immense privilege to be able to take this time for myself. I am so grateful.