Another example of the power of process over product

What I learned from making photo books for my kids

I discovered and fell in love with photography in middle school and spent any recreational dollars I could earn on rolls of film, developing film, and those crappy photo albums where the pages lose their stick and yellow over time. At some point—I believe right before Jon and I moved to Canada and I was freaking out over whether we would fit everything in the moving truck—I dismantled those photo albums and tossed all the photos into smaller boxes.

But still, even through grad school, I continued to delight in taking pictures and spending spare dollars on developing film at the Shoppers Drug Mart in Kingston, Ontario. And every now and then—usually to source photos for a loved one’s milestone birthday—I dig through my two boxes of print photos with great delight.

Like many people, my photo printing habit ground to a halt once digital cameras came into play. I bought my first digital camera right before Laurel was born in 2004. Because of the ability to snap countless digital photos, plus accumulating photos from various point and shoots, DSLRs, and camera phones, my digital archive is a dumpster fire. And after 20 years of making no photo books for my family, this year I made two, thanks to a wonderful conversation with Amanda Jefferson, who got my mind turning on creating photo books not following an exhaustive reorganization of your digital dumpster fire, but based on a concrete, shorter period of time.

And so, using Chatbooks (Amanda’s recommended platform), I created a cute little 6 x 6” album for Violet’s 14th birthday in March, and another for Laurel’s 21st birthday this past weekend. (My 20 pieces of parenting advice from last year still holds if you want to check that out.)

Meanwhile, what I found fascinating about creating these photo books is that—like many things in life—it ended up being a powerful example of the power of process over product (though the product is, in fact, adorable and Laurel loves it). Here are five lessons I gleaned from the process.

1. Sticking to a small time frame makes the process doable

During our conversation, Amanda recommended a seasonal approach; for example, creating a book of summer memories, and I think that is great advice. However, since these were the first birthday books I have made for Violet and Laurel, I decided to start by including one photo from each birthday leading up to the present, and then limiting the rest of my photo sourcing to the year since their last birthday. Given my aforementioned digital dumpster fire—and the reality that about 18 months are missing from my Google photos backup (good grief!)—the birth-to-present photo sourcing was a bit onerous, but sourcing the rest of the photos across the past year was doable and fun. Definitely stick to a shorter time frame!

2. There is plenty of beauty in the everyday

This fact is a little shocking given how much I used to travel for work, but I have not been on an airplane since August 2023, when I flew to Baltimore for a speaking engagement. I can’t even remember the last time our family of four flew together, but I suspect it was when we flew to California when Violet was a baby. My point is, we don’t do big travel adventures as a family* and yet, for both photo books, in looking back on the prior year, there were so many wonderful moments in the everyday. As someone who used to be on the go a ton—and probably felt a sense of pride and value in that reality—it was really moving to see how much joy can be anchored in one’s immediate surroundings.

*Note: One perk of living in a little state like Massachusetts is lots of travel possibilities by car and train. Our family travel has anchored around wonderful trips to Cape Cod, Maine, Vermont, and New York City.

3. You might be surprised by what you love most about photos

I was surprised to find that what gave me joy, made me laugh out loud, and moved me most were the candid photos where no one is looking at the camera, or during which a lovely, quiet moment is captured. Since having this realization, I have found myself lessening the “Smile!” asks and taking more candid photos—the sillier the better!

4. Limited time together can be delightfully full

Before I began making Laurel’s book, I had a flash of worry. She spent the majority of her time this past year in New York, including the entire summer. I was concerned I wouldn’t have enough photos of her across the year. My worry ended up being a non-issue! There were so many funny, beautiful pictures from our various visits through the year. I also included a couple of funny FaceTime screenshots in the book, which felt reflective of this era of life.

5. You can enjoy other people’s POVs

I initially asked Jon and Violet to share ski photos with me since the three of them skied together this past winter, while I did not. That ask expanded to a general “Send your favorite Laurel pictures!” request, and it was really fun to see what photos resonated most with each of them, and for the project to become collaborative.

Have you made a photo book lately? Do any of these process-related ideas resonate with you? I already have another plan for a photo book and I am delighting in the discovery and connection to memories the process will bring.

P.S. As irony would have it, kids these days seem super into printing photos; perhaps because it feels novel and special in our digital world. Printing photos at Walgreens for scrapbook and other gifts is a thing! For Jon and my 25th wedding anniversary, Laurel and Violet put together the most incredible print photo book. They even bought an album with a silver cover.

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