Coupons are my favorite

The delight and clarity found in experiences

I hope you’re enjoying this free newsletter! If and when you are able, I would be grateful if you would consider a paid subscription, or, if you prefer, a nod of support via Venmo (@DrChristineKoh).

---

Though I didn’t want much in the way of material goods this past holiday season, without a doubt, my favorite gifts to give and receive were of the handmade or experiential variety.

And I loved how many coupons were involved.

Coupons aren’t a new concept. If you are a parent with a kid in traditional schooling, you probably have at some point received a fill-in-the-blank coupon book full of IOUs (e.g., Mother’s Day coupon books). My love for coupons stems from the fact that my kids have developed a level of thoughtfulness, humor, creativity, and intention around their coupons that make them a pure delight. And sometimes—say, when your 12-year-old sees your deepest needs with stunning clarity as with this coupon to chill—coupons make me burst into tears.

This Christmas, I delighted in giving my family food coupons, which I encouraged people to cash in during my one-month period of radical rest. I love cooking and baking and always have an eye out for new recipes to try, and over the last few months, I have come across recipes that made me think, “Oooh, [Jon / Laurel / Violet] would love this!” And so I decided to squirrel the recipes away and create food IOUs for Christmas. We were traveling during the holiday school break week (but with access to a full kitchen) so I brought all the ingredients and baking supplies I would need to make these items in case anyone wanted to cash in their coupons, which felt extra stealth and delightful.

(All three coupons have been cashed in, everything was delicious, and I’m thinking about sharing a separate post later this week about what I made given that one of them involves a comical baking wreck.) 

Meanwhile, here are two of the amazing coupons I received from my kids—next level in terms of creativity and cuteness, right?! I feel so seen in my Christmas request for a fried chicken sandwich and look forward to cashing in my chicken coupon with Laurel and Violet.

And this past weekend, Laurel took me on the most delicious, thoughtful food date in Boston. It was such a fascinating reversal; similar to when I experienced the awe and delight of stepping into the role of the follower in New York City, except we were on home turf.

I followed her lead to our first stop, warming up over lattes at Downtown Crossing. This was familiar territory as I spent many hours during college breaks working as a temp in this neighborhood.

We then meandered our way over to Chinatown to load up on delicious buns. Over the past couple of years Laurel has delighted in exploring Chinatown with friends and her knowledge of the area exceeds mine. I was definitely following!

And then we made our way from Chinatown to land in the South End for dinner. She led and we walked a route I had never traversed in my 50 years identifying as a Bostonian. So fun!

All of these stops were wonderful and what a gift it was to have meandering time—on the train, while we walked, as we sat and enjoyed food and drink at various stops—with this radiant human being.

And here’s a sweet side note. After we finished dinner, we made our way to Back Bay station since it was closest and then were like, oh right, no green line at this stop. We could have hopped the orange line and transferred but I suggested we just walk to Copley since it was so close by and the weather was nice. Laurel said, “Oh, you know where we are? Great! Adulting mode off. Child mode activated!” We had a good laugh—the adulting involved in creating a plan, leading someone else through it, and hoping each step works out is no joke!—and made our way to Copley, at which point we were reminded of the green line shutdown and needed to head back to Back Bay.

We linked arms as we doubled back, Laurel relaxing into following.

It’s a wonder that part of parenting right now involves the space and ability to both follow and lead with care. And it’s the experiences that make those moments shine with clarity.