Election Week Healing Plan

12 recommendations in your sphere of control

❤️ Thank you for being here! If you are a free subscriber and enjoy this newsletter, I would be grateful if you would consider a paid subscription to support my creative work. ❤️

---

I’m posting a couple of days early this week given Tuesday’s election (inhale, exhale…). I shared the below graphic on Sunday, November 1, 2020 and was appreciative that it resonated. It sort of went viral, as illustrated not only by the volume of shares I could see and also through anecdotes—for example, when a friend across the country texted to say that the graphic was shared by leadership on her company’s Slack.

When I developed these thoughts, the sting of disbelief and despair over the 2016 election was very much on my mind. I also knew full well that even if the 2020 election went in favor of Biden/Harris, there would still be chaos—and that was without considering the possibility of an insurrection.

In reading these recommendations nearly four years later, the advice holds and it’s now clear that #45 relies on—and thrives on fueling—chaos. As a result, I feel that the potential anxiety generated by the many aspects of uncertainty around this election is all the more reason to lean into actions that are in your sphere of control. 

Because my readers and listeners appreciate when I share the specific details around concepts, here is an annotated version of the above Election Week Healing Plan. I hope these annotations help you identify ways to plug into your personal healing plan.

1. Protect your inbound communication

Make a plan to protect yourself from toxic communication, e.g., muting or unfollowing people on social media, not picking up the phone when a relative with opposing political views calls looking to fight or gloat.

This act does not mean you are sticking your head in the sand or being cowardly—it is a necessary protective self-care measure. Over the past few months I have been actively muting/unfollowing people on social media so I am in good shape here. That said, I am most active on Instagram and since I am very clear on my views, I do sometimes get comment trolls (mostly when I post on a politician post) or direct messages (DMs). The comments I don’t bother reading and the DMs I mostly ignore. That said, last week I decided to step in and respond to the DM of someone I know to try to engage in a conversation since I thought we might find issue-based common ground around the shared reality of raising daughters. However, the experience was like trying to speak to an actual alien. When it was clear to me that this was not a dialog, I disengaged and moved on.

2. Edit your schedule and to-do's

Be ruthless; reschedule or remove non-essential meetings and to-do's. You will need more space this week.

DONE. I have work as usual this week, but I proactively avoided scheduling client meetings or podcast recordings. If something urgent for a client comes up I will of course handle it, but all of my projects are on track so I don’t anticipate that need coming to fruition. I did allow one meeting to remain on my calendar this week and it is a mastermind type group with beloved friends/colleagues, so it will be a healing space. I am managing my to-do’s accordingly, focused on the essentials and allowing for rescheduling depending on my headspace.

3. Prioritize positive human connection

Plan a phone or video call with someone you love.

This one is so, so very important. One of the most depressing things about this election run-up has been the repeat feeling of, “Wait, there are that many people out there who are actually good with this horrendous behavior/perspective?!” I felt this so deeply after that dumpster fire of a rally at Madison Square Garden. And that’s why it is important to remind yourself that wonderful people exist.

I will call my Mom on Tuesday morning like I always do—she is my shining beacon of resilience. I will connect with my beloved family—my rocks, my joy, the people who keep me oriented forward and hopeful—FaceTime’ing Laurel, who has already voted in New York, spending time with Violet during the day and with Jon after he gets home from work. And I am pretty certain we will see our closest friends in town—we’re last minute planners but discussion of getting together this week for a dog walk and/or burritos is already in the works.

4. Schedule professional support

Book an appointment with your therapist or other professional support. You might not be able to get an appointment this week but it will be good to get on the calendar.

One of the best things I did for my self-care a few years ago was auto-scheduling a monthly 90-treatment with my massage therapist. I connected with this person 13 years ago when I injured my hip pushing Violet’s generous head out my vagina after 58 hours of labor. This magical practitioner not only healed my hip, but they have created an extraordinary safe, healing space for me ever since. I already have an appointment on the books—not for election week, but soon thereafter.

5. Identify comforting, nourishing fuel

Whether it's soup, loads of hot tea, or tacos, plan for fuel that will taste delicious and help you recover.

I will be leaning into my medicinal teas (on offer in the witch kitchen at present is rosemary, white pine, goldenrod, and mullein). I also am planning on preparing at least one meal that intentionally takes a little more effort (e.g., homemade pizza) so that I can stay connected to the tactile. I also will make some easy comfort food standbys like roasted vegetables and breaded tilapia—the latter of which is great for tacos or on top of roasted veggie bowls. If I find myself on the struggle bus, I will treat myself to sweetgreen this week.

6. Lean into tactile comforts

Have your adult "blankie" (e.g., an actual blankie, a cozy sweatshirt, warm slippers, favorite socks) at the ready.

One of the most challenging things for me, especially in anticipating this period of intense chaos, is not having Laurel home. I just feel happiest and most content when my squad is all together. For my birthday last month, Laurel gifted me with merch from her campus emergency medical service and I feel so happy when I wear the super snuggly sweatpants and zip-up jacket, especially since we have matching gear. I suspect this will be my uniform all week. I also have my heating pad at the ready.

7. Get outside

Breathe fresh air and extend your gaze, even if just for 10-minute walks around your neighborhood.

Morning walks are already part of my routine, and I am planning on spending extra time outside this week. I also am planning on some serious manual labor time (ripping out weeds and splitting logs) over the coming long weekend.

8. Focus on small nurturing actions

In moments of overwhelm, lean into actions that feel nurturing and healing, e.g., tending to houseplants, gardening, listening to music, baking, reading, doing something creative.

This is basically the mantra by which I live my life. Micro goals and micro joys are everything. I recently hit the library to swap and replenish my book stack so I have plenty of reading options. Violet has no school on Election Day so I’m planning on inviting her to do an art and/or baking project. I also may tackle some household tasks like wiping down the refrigerator, cleaning the shower, and weeding out expired medications—all in the vein of getting toxic things out.

9. Breathe deeply

We're going to feel very out of control this week, but one crucial thing we can control is our breath. Pause and take 5-10 deep breaths. Repeat generously.

On repeat. Seriously. It helps. I usually lean into yoga during the winter when the weather gets crappy here but I am going to plan on a nice stretchy, deep breathing practice this week.

10. Don't sleep with your phone

Trust me, middle-of-the-night scrolling will not serve you.

I feel strongly about no devices in the bedroom. When I’m ready to go bed, my phone stays downstairs in the living area. I think it is safe to say that the news will not refresh at the speed you wish it to refresh this week, so up your chances of a better night of sleep by not sleeping with a device in reach.

11. Support your immune system

Prepare for your body's potential crash by supporting your immune system with the preventative measures you know work best for you (e.g., sleep, supplements, tea).

Sleep, good food, and my medicinal teas are my go-to actions for immune support. I am leaning into all of these things. I’m also reminded that this would be a good week to make a batch of this wellness brew and just added lemons and ginger to my grocery list.

12. Embrace a radical act of self-care

Many of us talk ourselves out of self-care. This is the week to embrace whatever feels like a radical act of self-care.

As someone who is very much in motion and tuned to getting things done, my most radical act of self-care is always rest. I don’t often do things that don’t have a tangible purpose and I don’t make many purely recreational purchases, so last week I decided to treat myself and order this new puzzle, which is scheduled to arrive on Election Day. Doing jigsaw puzzles is one of the most effective ways for me to redirect and calm my brain and I am really looking forward to having this puzzle in my arsenal of simple healing tactics.

I’m rooting for us all this week. And as the saying goes, vote like your life (and those of millions of people across the country) depends on it—because it actually does.