How to manage your energy this month

Who else is confused that it’s December?

❤️ Thank you for being here! If you are a free subscriber and enjoy this newsletter, I would be grateful if you would consider a paid subscription to support my creative work. ❤️

---

Last year Thanksgiving was on November 23, whereas this year it was a week later on November 28. I’m not even a super do’er when it comes to the holidays, but this five-day shift has left me with a fair number of moments of confusion and overwhelm about the reality that it is December—for those who celebrate, we are now two weeks out from Christmas Eve.

As a result, my conversation with

Shira Gill

about intentional living tactics couldn’t have been better timed. Shira has a new book out called LifeStyled: Your Guide to a More Organized & Intentional Life.

Shira and I talked about all manner of things—managing input volume, systems, habit building, and more—yet it is the conversation’s high level framing that has been on my mind as I have been thinking through not only managing my energy, but showing up with joy and delight in the short couple of weeks leading into the holidays. Here is what Shira said when I asked her about her definition of minimalism:

I define minimalism as being radically intentional—not just with the things that you own, but with how you spend your time and your resources and your energy. I started filtering my life through that lens of clarifying what's important and cutting back and reducing the clutter and distraction that stands in the way.

Being radically intentional about how you spend your time and your resources and your energy—that’s what it’s all about.

Thinking about radical intentionality reminded me of a graphic I shared in December 2020. That fall, I started to use the phrase “protective and restorative care” in reference to self-care. While yes, the term self-care is less of a mouthful than protective and restorative care, the term self-care doesn’t encapsulate how involved and multidimensional the work of taking care of ourselves is. The reality is, our lives are complicated and messy. Acts of protectiveness and restoration work in tandem. And I believe that you need to actively tap into both the protective and restorative acts in order for your caring intentions to stick.

The concept seemed to hit a nerve on social and elsewhere. For example, my dear friend

Liz Gumbinner

invited me to talk about reframing self-care on her Spawned podcast and it ended up being their most popular episode of 2021. And to be clear, I view that fact as less about me and more about how important it is to have conversations that give us the permission to center our needs. And the beautiful thing is, doing so not only helps us show up better for ourselves, it helps us show up with more compassion and love for others.

The concepts have proven evergreen. I thought it would be helpful to share some details; I lean into protective and restorative tactics every day, but of course the season we are in matters. December feels especially confusing because it is the same exact number of days as any other December but feels so short!

Relationships

Bottom line, this month I’m focusing on get-togethers with people where the time feels nurturing, delightful, and mutually supportive. This doesn’t mean we don’t talk about hard things or that I’m giving up on my more challenging relationships; I’m being realistic. I know that when my energy is compromised, I don’t always show up as my most compassionate self in a difficult relationship. So, barring any emergencies, less is more in terms of social engagements for me.

Social media

For the past year in particular, I have felt my relationship with social media shifting. There are parts of it I still love—mostly, communication with actual humans through DMs and comments—but the noise and attention seeking and short-attention span everything just feels terrible for me. I limit my time on social media and spend more time leaning into the long-form content and multisensory activities: for example, reading books, doing puzzles, experimenting in the witch kitchen.

Boundaries

Boundaries are my favorite. I’m not signing up for things this month that I flat out don’t want to do or would do with even a shred of resentment or ire. And for the limited instances where I want to do something that is values consistent but complicated, I’m putting clear parameters around time.

Food and drink

I learned so much this past summer through my unplanned wellness transformation. I know what works well and I know what sets my body on fire—not in a good way LOL. So this month especially, which tends to be a time of excess, I’m being mindful of my inflammation triggers and leaning into plant diversity.

Physical activity

My general goal with physical activity is to not do anything torturous. My greatest joys in physical activity this year have come in tandem with nurturing relationships—notably, morning dog walks with my husband and long weekend dog/human hikes with friends. And I’m looking forward to getting back on the slopes this winter! The past couple of years I have been hampered by absurd mundane injuries; for example, tripping while walking my dog and straining my hamstring, which took 6 months to heal. This year I’m planning on returning to skiing but I have zero interest in pushing myself on blues and blacks. I just want to ski green and easy!

Dogs are a ton of work, and also, I am so grateful that James regularly gets me out for long weekend hikes in the woods with friends.

Aggravation management

Ah, what an opportunity small aggravations provide us! I am of course not immune to them and they are a continual reminder that we can’t control everything. For me the work of dealing with aggravations tends to be rooted in not taking things personally and not dwelling on things that are clearly outside of my sphere of control.

Micro goals and delights

I mean, small goals and actions have been my everything for SO LONG. And I feel like the concept of micro has gotten very mainstream. I am here for it.

I am wishing us all well this month. We deserve it.