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Whether it’s related to home edits, creature comforts, acts of self-love, or goal setting, I am all about micro. Big goals and actions are sexy, yes, but they can also be overwhelming.
I leaned in hard to the power of micro during the depths of the pandemic when, like many, I felt on the brink of tantrum on the regular. In some moments—like when I melted down if I forgot to set up my coffee the evening prior so I could just push the “on” button in the morning—my fragility felt a little alarming. On the other hand, it also was clear that tiny moments and actions are powerful conduits for agency, particularly when everything else in life feels difficult.
Tiny actions can be sexy too.
And sometimes, everyday objects take on new importance.
Until recently, Sharpies were my go-to for functional purposes. I use them to draw out our family calendar on poster board (so old school, I know!) and to write bold lettering on packages. But in the past couple of months, Sharpies have become my tool for tiny moments of creative therapy and connection.
In March, in the face of a family emergency, I needed to leave a set of keys in my mailbox for my sister Steph because I knew I would be in meetings at the time she planned to roll by. On any other busy workday I would have just dropped the keys in an envelope, tossed them in my mailbox, and moved on with my day. But things were pretty fucking stressful and I figured, why not dress up the envelope a little to serve up a dose of joy or humor at this terrible, tough time? It’s possible that at some subconscious level I wanted to meet Steph in a nostalgic happy space. When we were kids, she used to draw the best Sharpie illustrations—my favorite was a character series whose hero was named Happicus Smilicus.
And so on a whim, I grabbed a juicy Sharpie out of my drawer and doodled this random dude on the envelope before dropping the keys inside and leaving it into my mailbox.
Based on the text I received from Steph after she picked up the keys, it seemed to deliver the burst of levity I had hoped for. It felt so damned good to know that this tiny action gave someone I care about a laugh.
A few weeks later, my friend Mary Laura Philpott reached out in response to something I had posted to check if I was OK. I wrote back that my life felt like a raging dumpster fire but that big picture, things were OK—or I hoped they would level out soon. She wrote back, “Reaching out an arm from my dumpster to your dumpster.”
I smiled reading that note, not because I wanted anyone else to be in raging dumpster fire mode, but because it was a reminder of the power of amazing friendships, where you can exist in support of one another even without all of the details on the table. Mary Laura’s words bounced around in my head all week and provided comfort as I went about living my raging dumpster fire life.
The following weekend her words were still on my mind so I pulled out my juicy Sharpie, drew this picture, and dropped it in the mail to Mary Laura, with a thank you written on a Bob Ross sticky note.
A week or so later, Mary Laura texted to tell me how much joy the note brought her. And it gave me a dose of joy to hear from her.
I’m not going to force moments like this, but I look forward to whatever inspiration might call me to pick up my juicy Sharpie again.
And I’m grateful for these tiny moments of art therapy and connection. They are, indeed, super sexy.
Thank you for this. Another idea: I have a lot of postcards (and postcard stamps which I bought online from the postal service and had delivered to my mailbox). I’ll dash off a quick note to someone I’m thinking of, and then when we finally run into each other, they say how nice it was to get fun mail. Easier for me to write a couple of sentences than a whole letter and also nice reconnecting with a friend.
Sexy, tiny actions. Yes!!