Why I am a fan of a low bar during the summer

Plus, a simple daily practice to keep kids from going feral

Last week I recorded an Edit Your Life podcast interview with the wonderful Amy Joyce, a former Washington Post journalist (and my editor at the On Parenting vertical) who took a big leap and left the Washington Post to open Wonderland Books in Bethesda, MD. We covered a lot of ground in our conversation, including kids and summertime. We both are fans of embracing an easier, less structured pace during the summer, especially with teens.

During our conversation I mentioned a summer concept that Jon and I came up with many years ago that serves us well. I love that it is holistic yet also reflects a low bar in terms of execution. Also, with my present day lens, I appreciate that this low bar is connected to my passion for identifying micro actions in order to feel a sense of agency, joy, and/or accomplishment.

The backstory is simple: many years back, on a summer day where things were getting feral around our house, we told the kids that every day they needed to do something for the brain, something for the body, and something for the house. And we were not talking about rigorous academics, 10K training, or deep cleaning. The point was that doing these three things could take as little as a half hour or less. Here’s why:

1. We wanted them to develop awareness around the importance of tending to themselves as well as the family system.

2. It’s easier to get buy in on, develop, and stick with simple habits. I have found that when kids learn that they can do something impactful in a matter of minutes, they’re more likely to just do it instead of complain about the prospect of doing it because they assume it will take a long time.

3. There is more space to work on habit development during the summer. And then it’s easier for those habits to carry over into the school year.

4. I also think there is something to be said for a little reverse psychology. Ask for less and your kids may give more (but really, there is no pressure on that front).

5. Finally, we set the bar intentionally low because the school year is challenging enough with routines and homework and activities. I have always wanted my kids to have more freedom—and yes, even some boredom—during the summer.

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SIDE NOTE: I understand that a child’s boredom can have a negative impact on your ability to get things done, and, if you set boundaries and don’t cave into boredom requests, boredom can sometimes lead to great things—such as the homemade pasta Alfredo Violet made from scratch last week, or the papier mâché hammerhead shark she just finished.

Photo published with Violet’s permission. Also, she asked if we could make two more sea creatures together. I said yes.

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If the brain/body/house concept appeals to you and feels a little too broad or abstract, here are some concrete examples of what this has looked like in our house.

Brain

• Pleasure reading (e.g., books, magazines, newspapers)

• Puzzles and brain teasers (e.g., NYT games, paperback Sudoku or crosswords)

• Writing

• Comic illustration

• Learning how to read music and mess around on the piano and guitar

• School summer work assignments (e.g., math packets, summer reading); separate category warranted because anything assigned always feels less fun, even if you are, for example, an avid reader

Body

• Walk or run around the neighborhood

• Swim at the beach or lake

• Nike app or YouTube workouts

• Planks or pushups

House

There are so many super quick chores kids can learn and do! Print this PDF and toss it on your fridge for inspiration. And be sure to hop over and subscribe to Edit Your Life if you aren’t doing so already because pretty soon I will share an episode where I share 15 of my favorite high-impact picks from the list of 100 chores kids can learn in 5 minutes or less. Meanwhile, here are some great ideas for the house category.

• Sweeping: I feel like sweeping is easier than vacuuming because brooms are light and easy to maneuver.

• Laundry: The task that never ends; teach kids to do laundry not just for themselves but other family members too.

• Changing sheets: I loathe this job so my kids learned they were on their own with this one a long time ago!

• Washing dishes or loading/unloading the dishwasher: Also a task that never ends.

• Making food: Years ago we instituted a rule that if the kids make treats they need to clean up everything, but if they make an actual meal, we’ll clean up. It’s helped us not just have all cookies all the time and a messy sink.

• Clean the bathroom sink and/or toilet.

• Take out trash and recycling.

• Clip mint from our mint bed (we are drying out mint from our aggressive bed so we never need to buy mint tea again; I already have a gallon jar almost full).

Crossover activities

These activities are great in being two- or three-fers on the brain/body/house concept:

• Helping with grocery shopping (three-fer involving math, moving around the store and unloading groceries, and helping the household through replenishment of food)

• Cooking/baking (three-fer involving math through measurement, moving around and standing, and making food for the house)

• Sorting and rolling loose change (two-fer that involves math to figure out how many of each coin goes in each sleeve + helps empty out overflowing change cups…we somehow still have a lot of those around)

• Gardening (two-fer of physical work that tidies things up for the house)

• Walk the dog (two-fer involving movement + contributing to a household responsibility)

I hope this post helps take the pressure of making summer one of enrichment or serious goals. There’s nothing wrong with enrichment or serious goals, of course—unless they are being required via a “should” mindset vs. something that you or your kid genuinely want to do.